đPart 4 of 4 : How to NOT F*ck Up Your Resolutions
Get ready and put your big girl panties on.
Hey, yâall! I know what youâre thinking, âOh my word, woman! I expected this part 4 weeks ago!â (Or hell, you probably didnât even notice it was late.) Well, you were foolish to believe Iâd deliver all four parts of the Part 4 series in a timely manner. Have you met me? I do everything last minute. Can I at least get a âgood girlâ pat on the head for delivering the first three lickety-split? But good lord, yâall, I will never write four newsletters in one month, ever again. If I do, you have my permission to murder me. Come March, we are back to our regularly scheduled program of one newsletter a month. And only if I have something really interesting to say will there be an extra one snuck in here and there. Now where were we?
đ Oh yes, Part 4 of 4: How Not To Fuck It Up.
BUT WAIT! I just wanted to let you know that my next novel Grave Birds will be available on Netgalley soon for book reviewers to request. (Whatâs Netgalley? Itâs a website where publishers have uncorrected proofs of a book that they release early for book influencers to read and review. It helps generate buzz for a book before it comes out.) And if you havenât yet, please be sure to add Grave Birds to your Goodreads TBR and youâll be notified when they have giveaways. I made this living scrapbook that captures the feel for graveyards, check it out here:
đPart 4 of 4 : How to NOT F*ck Up Your Resolutions
How yâall doing on your writing goals for 2025? Are you sticking to them? Probably not and itâs all my fault for not getting this Part 4 newsletter out there, telling you how to stick to it. Well, no more excuses. Letâs get you back on track. Youâve written detailed goals. Youâre supposed to be doing the stuff you said youâd do. Now what? This is how not to fuck it up and make sure you get the work done. Todayâs lesson has a heavy dose of tough love. Grab your big girl panties, youâre gonna need them.
đYOUâRE THE PROBLEM
Damn. I just dropped that right here, and you didnât even have time to duck. (I told yâall I was giving tough love today, but yâall didnât believe me.) If youâre not where you want to be in your career, then thereâs a good chance youâre the reason youâre not. And before you get your panties in a wad and start telling me about all the other people, things, and/or stuff thatâs getting in your way, Iâm here to tell you YOU are the one allowing it. Thatâs a hard pill to swallow, isnât it? I had young kids when I started this journey, so my writing time was precious. Until I protected that time like a honey badger with her cubs, books didnât get written. Finding time to write and sticking to it is just the start. Hereâs a little bit of good news: If youâre the problem, then YOU can fix it.
Do a little self-reflection to figure out how you need to change as a writer. Are you making the time? Are you sticking to your goals? Are you setting boundaries? Are you doing the work? Letâs see what else youâre doing to sabotage your career.
đGIVE SOMETHING UP
To get something you want, you might have to give up something else to get it. When my first child was a new born, I joined a Mommy and Me group and was complaining to one of the women I didnât have time to work out. And what she said pissed me off real good. She said, âIf you want bad enough, youâll find the time.â What?! How dare her! I DID want it bad enough! There were literally no more hours in the day to do it. She said, âThen give something up you donât want as much.â And then she suggested I work out in the morning, but I told her my husband leaves for work by 6:30am, and she was like, âThen wake up at 5am and go.â
Do you see what was happening between the woman and I? I kept giving her excuses and she kept giving me solutions, I just didnât like what I was hearing. The problem is I wanted/needed sleep more, and I wasnât ready to give it upâŠyet. So when you tell yourself, you just donât have time to write. Ask yourself, what do you need to sacrifice to get more time? How many hours a day do you scroll on social media? How many hours a day do you watch TV? Binge watch a show? Sacrifice something and find the time.
đ«ŁDO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
Okay okay. So youâve found the time, youâve committed to writing, and you finally finished a book! Congrats! Good job. Hereâs a cookie. BUT your career STILL isnât where you want it to be. Do something different. So many of us are resistant to change, but you canât keep doing the same thing and expect different results. You have to do something different, which might mean you have to do something you wonât like. Try something you havenât tried before. Try the thing you donât want to try but have thought about trying. Sometimes doing the wrong thing helps us find the right thing. Just do something different.
There were lots of things for me that I did differently along the way. Some were big. Some were small. Here are a few things that I did differently that I think made significant changes.
I ditched my first agent. I hired a writerâs coach. I switched genres, contemporary to magic realism. I switched from young adult to adult. I scrapped an entire book and rewrote it. And then I did that again. These are just a few things that I did differently. All things that I never thought I would ever do.
Ditching an agent? Are you crazy? Do you know how hard it is to get an agent and I decided to walk away? But hereâs what I said to myself, âIf I got an agent once, I can get one again.â I also changed how I write: âcone of silence.â (Iâve talked about that before in previous newsletters.) If you outline and youâre stuck try pantsing the story. (For you non-writer types, pantsing is when you write by the seat of your pants, no outline.) And same in reverse, if you always pants try to outline. Do something different. Study those that you want to emulate, what do they do? And then figure out how you can take their best parts and then personalize them to be you. A book only YOU can write.
Through my writerâs coach I found out I was a visual writer and that changed how I approached my work. Also, Iâm seriously more critical of my own work now. When I complained to my coach about some crappy chapters I wrote she said, they were ârun-of-the-mill,â anyone could have written them. But that one fantastic chapter, âonly Dana Elmendorf could have written.â (<--Thatâs me!) That comment alone made me look at my writing through a different lens. If it feels even slightly run-of-the-mill, I trash it. In the past I would try to rework the hell out of that. Stop reworking a story. Be willing to trash your words. I trashed 80K words, twice. And then I finally got In the Hour of Crows where it needed to be, and it paid off big time when I sold my book at auction to a bigger publisher. What can you do differently? Make a list of anything and everything, big and small. And then get started.
đMANIFEST THE SHIT OUT OF THAT
In Part 1 of this mini-series, I talked about manifesting what you want to get it. When you first hear that, you might think that means creating mantras and affirmations, putting it out there in the universe, saying what you want to yourself in the mirror every day. While all those things are great, they also feel very woo woo, and itâs like youâre waiting on the universe to magically deliver it. When in fact, thereâs something you can do to get it.
On the podcast Unf*ck Your Brain with Kara Loewenthiel (which I highly recommend listening to and itâs also a book) she talks about how she decided to leave her law practice and become a life coach. That first year she set a goal to make the same money she did at the law firm. At the end of her first year she did. So the next year she decided to double that, and sure enough, at the end of her second year she did it. Then the third year, she decided to make a half a million dollarsâŠbut then she stopped and realized something. The first two years she set a goal and achieved it. What if she really upped her goal to a million dollars? Guess what, her third year she made a million dollars. How did she do it? That goal was the the driving force to every decision she made. Same for me.
After I wrote In the Hour of Crowsâthe first timeâI asked myself would this get me a kick ass agent? If the answer wasnât an immediate, confident yes, I fixed it. For me that meant rewriting ITHOC, from scratch, two more times. You should apply this mindset on a micro level as well. Does this scene belong in a six-figure book? Am I using my time efficiently to get that kick ass agent? Is this story idea something that seems different and unique enough publishers will fight to buy it in an auction? Will networking and being friends with these type of writer people get me where I want to be? Will this educational thing get me closer to my goal? Every decision, big or small, should be viewed under that lens of Will this get me the career I want? If not, change it.
đ€ȘEXPECT CURVE BALLS
Sometimes things donât go according to plan. Expect curve balls and speed bumps along the way. You wonât succeed the first time. You might not even succeed the second time. Itâs not about succeeding immediately itâs about how you get up, dust off your pants, and keep moving forward. Find a way around the problem. Find solutions, not excuses.
đ§WEEKLY EVALUATION
Keeping yourself accountable and on task is important. Make sure you are doing the work you set out to do. Ask yourself: What did you do well? What did you not do well at? What can you improve upon? What was a waste of your time? What do you need to spend more time on? Where do you prioritize your focus? Get real and be honest. No need to beat yourself up if things didnât go well that week, make the adjustments needed and get back to work.
đ STOP MAKING EXCUSES
đSTOP FUCKING AROUND
đ STOP PROCRASTINATING
âŒïžDO THE WORK
đIf youâre not getting what you want out of your career, itâs most likely something youâre doing or not doing thatâs keeping you where you are. Distractions are the DEVIL! Itâs easier to make an excuses because itâs someone/something elseâs fault. Or you tell yourself, Iâll start tomorrow. Iâll start Monday. Iâll get focused as soon as I get past this X thing in my life. If not now, when?
Hereâs a quote by Nora Roberts that I LOVE:
âStop making excuses and write. Stop whining and write. Stop fucking around and write. There's no secret, no formula, no magic spell. It's called writing, regularly, consistently, daily. It's discipline and drive and desire.â
If you want to read more on how Nora writes, go here.
đRESOURCES
Iâm not going to leave you empty handed. Here are some books I recommend every writer read along the way. Depending on where you are in your journey, one bookâs topic might speak to you more than another. Lean into that.
â° Atomic Habits by James Clear
đŠâ⏠Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
âïž Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod
đ§ Unf*ck Your Brain podcast with Kara Loewenthiel
đ creative.inspired.happy podcast/Substack with Evelyn Skye (Sheâs also my BFF. She interviews big names from a variety of successful creatives in the industry. Itâs a great source of inspiration, solid writing advice, behind-the-scenes look into the industry and so much more.)
âWHAT NEXT?
I want to hear from you. What would you like me to talk about next? Or maybe you have a publishing question? Just reply to this email or comment in Substack and Iâll include it in my next newsletter. Here are a few topics, let me know if any interest you: writerâs block, my writing process/routine, where do I get my ideas, critique partners, writerâs retreats, whatâs it like working with my publisher, or something else Iâm not thinking of here.
đ ICYMI:
Part 1 of 4 - New Year New You, What do you want from 2025? How are you going to get it?
Part 2 of 4 - Strategically Writing Out Your Goals
Part 3 of 4 - No Do The Stuff You Said Youâd Do
đBookstagrammer Shoutout đŁïž
Thank you, Melissa for always spreading the book love for my stories! Go give her a follow, she has great book recommendations.
THE ENDâŠfinally!
đ Wow, that was a really freaking long newsletterâŠagain! And you made it to the endâŠagain. Iâm so proud of you. Thank you for showing up and coming back for more (youâre a glutton for punishment.) I get a bit long winded, but I feel like thereâs value in what Iâm sharing here. Hopefully you do to! Until next month.
Thanks for reading!
xo,
Dana
Some truthing going on here.